How Should We Approach God in Prayer?

Pray With Honesty, Boldness, and Surrender

Sometimes we can become overly concerned with saying the right things when we pray. We choose our words carefully, hide what we're really feeling, and our prayers can begin to sound more like religious performances than honest conversations with God.

You see, God already knows what’s in our hearts, yet He still invites us to come before Him, cry out to Him, and make our requests known.

Hannah's story in 1 Samuel 1 gives us a powerful picture of what that can look like. She carried a longing that had caused her tremendous pain, and in her desperation, she brought it all before God. She didn't hide her pain, nor was she afraid to ask for the child she desired. Yet even as she asked, she was willing to surrender the very thing she longed for back to God.

Through Hannah's prayer, we see three characteristics that should shape the way we approach God: honesty, boldness, and surrender.

Prayer isn't a formula for getting the outcome we want from God. And its power isn't found in eloquence, a special technique, or using the right words. Its power and outcome rest in the One to whom we pray.

Praying With Honesty

1 Samuel 1:10-13 tells us: “She [Hannah], greatly distressed, prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly...”

Hannah didn't hide her pain. She didn't suppress her emotions or pretend everything was fine. She poured out her soul before the Lord, exposing the depth of her anguish as she wept bitterly.

Some of us have become so accustomed to wearing a mask that we've forgotten how to pray without one. We've learned to disguise our pain with polished words and a put-together demeanor. We may do it around other people, and without realizing it, begin doing the same when we approach God.

But God invites us to come before Him with honesty and transparency.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

There is something deeply comforting about this promise: when our hearts are broken, God is not distant; He is near. We can come to Him grieving, afraid, disappointed, or confused, and pour out what is truly in our hearts.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “Prayer is the cry of the heart. It is not the measured tones and polished sentences of rhetoric. It is the yearning of the spirit in agony and in necessity.”

Honest prayer brings the reality of our hearts before God. But honesty shouldn’t only reveal what hurts; it should also reveal what we desire.

Praying With Boldness

Hannah didn't only express her pain; she also told God exactly what she desired.

She prayed: “Lord of armies, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your bond-servant and remember me... but will give Your bond-servant a son...” (1 Samuel 1:11)

Her request wasn't vague. Hannah wanted a son, and she asked God for one.

Scripture says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Phil. 4:6)

God already knows what we want, but His foreknowledge doesn't make asking unnecessary. He still invites us to make our requests known. Therefore, we can go to Him boldly and confidently with what is on our hearts.

But bold prayer doesn't mean being certain that God will give us the outcome we request. And it certainly doesn't mean demanding it.

Bold prayer is not reckless asking.

Reckless asking approaches God with entitlement, demanding that He fulfill our desires without regard for His wisdom or will. It treats prayer as a way of getting God to accomplish our plans.

Bold prayer is different – it is specific while remaining surrendered.

It says, “Father, this is what I desire. I know You are able to do what I cannot do, but I trust Your wisdom above my own.”

Praying With A Surrendered Heart

Hannah continues: “If You will give Your bond-servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life.” (1 Samuel 1:11)

The very thing Hannah longed for most – a son – was the very thing she was willing to give back to God. She wasn't simply asking God to fulfill her desire so that she could have what she wanted.

Too often, our prayers stop at what we want: “God, give me this job. Fix this situation. Heal this relationship. Bless these plans.” And while there is nothing wrong with bringing our desires to God, surrender asks us to go further. If God gives us what we are asking for, are we willing to place that very thing under His lordship?

Prayer should never become an attempt to bend God's will toward ours. James 4:2-3 warns us that our prayers can be shaped by sinful desires and wrong motives. We can ask God for something while being more concerned with satisfying ourselves than submitting ourselves to Him.

Hannah's prayer models a different posture. She asked boldly for the son she desired, but she was also willing to dedicate him to the Lord, because she recognized that her future son would ultimately belong to God.

God did answer Hannah's prayer. But her story isn't a formula guaranteeing that if we pray honestly, boldly, and with surrender, God will always give us the specific outcome we asked for. Hannah received the son she prayed for, but Scripture does not promise that every request we make will be answered in the same way.

Sometimes God gives us what we ask for, and sometimes His answer looks very different from what we wanted. Surrender, then, also means trusting God's wisdom when the outcome is not the one we wanted.

The confidence of prayer isn't that God will always give us what we ask for. Our confidence is that He hears us and that His wisdom and goodness can be trusted with whatever answer He gives.

Conclusion: Come Honestly, Boldly, and Surrendered

So how should we approach God in prayer?

Honestly enough to bring every burden before Him. Boldly enough to ask specifically for what we desire. And surrendered enough to trust Him with the outcome.

Because of Christ, we don't approach God as strangers trying to persuade a reluctant God to listen. We come as His children approaching a loving Father. We can bring to Him our weakness, fears, and deepest desires.

So let your requests be made known to Him – honestly, boldly, and with a surrendered heart. And pray with confidence, knowing that ultimately, our confidence doesn't rest in how perfectly we do any of these things.

Our confidence rests in the One whom we call our Heavenly Father.